Beers and Beards - Chapter 29Book 4: : Stampede Breakfast

During the Chunin Exams, a mysterious screen hijacks Konoha's arena, broadcasting the shinobi world's most shocking secrets, pivotal future events, and utterly embarrassing moments, sending Kages, legends, and genin alike into a hilarious frenzy.The air crackles with anticipation during Konoha's Chunin Exams. Genin face off, crowds roar... and then, BAM!A gigantic projection screen materializes out of thin air above the packed arena, silencing everyone. This is not on the schedule. Before anyone can react, it flickers to life, broadcasting scenes that should never see the light of day.Get ready for reactions that rewrite history (and dignity):Mei Terumi (Fifth Mizukage): *Eyes widening, then narrowing suspiciously*: “Hold on... Madara Uchiha's 'invincible' fire style... extinguished by a Water Barrier? Is this some kind of advanced Genjutsu prank, or did someone seriously just splash water on the apocalypse?”Ōnoki (Third Tsuchikage): *Clutching his lower back*: “My aching joints! And the screen says I'm going to willingly ride atop the Fourth Raikage like some kind of... decrepit flying squirrel?! Preposterous! My back couldn't take that speed!”A (Fourth Raikage): *Face turning purple, with veins popping* :“WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?! STOP LOOPING THE FOOTAGE OF MINATO MAKING BEE LOOK LIKE A FOOL! TURN IT OFF! BEE, IF YOU START RAPPING TO THIS, I SWEAR I'LL LARIAT YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!”(Nearby, Killer Bee subtly starts beatboxing under his breath, yo!)Hiruzen Sarutobi (Third Hokage): *Sweating profusely as Kushina Uzumaki glares daggers from the stands, holding a spectral frying pan*: “K-Kushina, my dear! That scene where Naruto painted the Hokage Monument... again... it was taken completely out of context! He was... expressing youthful exuberance! Yes! And I definitely didn't bribe him with ramen to clean it up! Please, listen to reason... and put the ethereal kitchenware down?”Danzō Shimura: *Eyes colder than ice*: “Exposing Root operations? Revealing my contingency plans... or lack thereof in that particular future? Unacceptable. This screen poses a threat to Konoha's stability. It must be... Eliminated Permanently.” (He discreetly signals an Anbu who immediately bowed).Uchiha Madara (From an undisclosed location, sensing a disturbance in the Force... err, Chakra) : “An unseen hand manipulating the narrative? Revealing destiny's secrets before their time? Insolence! Who dares play director with my grand stage?!”From Kage summits gone wrong to legendary shinobi's secret guilty pleasures (did Jiraiya really wear that?), the screen reveals all.The entire shinobi world watches, mouths agape. Hidden truths are dragged into the sunlight, future tragedies are foreshadowed, alliances tremble, and enemies start taking very detailed notes.One question burns hotter than Amaterasu: 'Who is behind this chaotic broadcast, and what earth-shattering secret will they expose next.'

A young man sat on a chair and looked out at the ocean. With one wisp of Spirit Qi, he could point anywhere on this vast and expansive world, pointing at any place that didn’t look right.

Someone once became the last one to wield a knife that could decapitate huge dragons and bathed in dragons’ blood. Someone once loved treating others to chicken soup, so he kept nine phoenixes in his backyard.

Someone once sat lazily on the top of mountains as his words flooded river banks, and his qi could hold a million soldiers back. Someone once moved mountains and shifted hills with just one brush, his paintings so captivating it could enchant immortals and deities.

That year, the warmth of spring made the flowers bloom. They were merely an ordinary butcher, a bookworm, a chicken farmer and a poor artist. This is the story of how a Low Level Martial World Continent was transformed into the Ultimate Fantasy Universe.

- Description from Qidian

Six months ago, tens of thousands of black phantom towers appeared all over the world, floating above the cities. Chemists, physicists, religious people… all of them could do nothing.

For those who fought in war, war never ends.

But Xiao Yuan’s war has just begun…a war that has ended.

Guderian?

Rommel?

Manstein?

The USSR needs only one soldier… Shulka

- Description from novelbuddy