Previous chapter: Chapter 42
Next chapter: Chapter 44
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... lamed his mood swings on puberty, but now that he was home and thinking clearly, something felt off.

If it really was puberty, wouldn’t it happen all the time?

Koi was seriously troubled. He had learned in class about emotional fluctuations during adolescence and had experienced some of them himself. But he'd never had the environment to express those feelings. He’d always held them in, ignored them, and they’d just passed him by. Maybe, he thought, they were only surfacing now. ...

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The night before we obtained our marriage certificate, I asked him, “When did you start to develop feelings for me?”

He answered, “I don’t remember.”

“But, why me?”

“Why not you?”

“I’m very petty, and I get jealous very easily.”

“So am I.”

“I’m afraid I’m not worthy of you.”

“So am I.”

“I haven’t really dated, so I don’t know what love is.”

“I don’t know either.”

He held my hand gently, “But I know this. When I think about spending the rest of my life with you, I feel that my future is filled with hope.”

At 16, we used the same class desk, with less than 10cm between our arms. My peripheral vision was full of him.

At 26, I woke up in the morning, and saw the sunlight softly shining on his face. I thought, this is how I want to grow old – gradually, together, with him.

I guess this must be love.

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