[BL] Accidentally Becoming the Healer of the Deranged Archduke-Chapter 196: One Heart Healed; Another Heart Shattered

"Your Grace... have you ever liked someone?"

A delicate voice asked him.

Liked?

The word echoed strangely in Darius’ mind. They were spoken so softly, so vaguely that it felt oddly out of place.

Darius didn’t answer immediately. Instead, his gaze lingered on Xion’s face, searching for something — a reason for the sudden question.

Why was he asking that now?

Had someone caught your pretty eyes?

A flicker of displeasure crossed his eyes, and his jaw instinctively clenched.

He’d been occupied lately, far too busy with missions, court sessions, and war briefings.

There had been unrest in the northern territory, forcing him to send Nazia and Berry ahead of them.

Despite all that, he’d tried to keep Xion close, but the healer had slipped from his sight more than once.

Not to mention, this foolish kitten was far too trusting.

It had taken Xion such a long time, three long years to be exact, to notice Soren’s dirty inclinations, and even longer to understand what they meant.

If not, Xion would have run away a long time ago.

His curiosity was childlike, and his sense of danger... Well, it was laughable at best.

Darius remembered vividly how Xion had barged into his carriage while smiling like the sun itself.

What if that person wasn’t me?

This soft, reckless little thing would have been kidnapped and sold off before he even realized it.

Darius’s brow furrowed at the thought. Xion also got kidnapped while shopping at the road stall.

On the other side, Xion watched those jade-green eyes narrow in contemplation.

His heart stilled.

Ah... he’s angry. By now Xion had somehow mastered the way to read Darius’ mostly expressionless face.

Did I say something wrong? The silence was crushing him, along with that familiar tightening in his chest which had returned again.

Just as Xion was at wit’s end and thinking of saying that it was a joke, Darius spoke.

"Like..." As the Archduke repeated the word, it somehow tasted foreign on his tongue. "No. I’ve never had the time for such fleeting things."

Xion’s heart stilled.

Darius’s voice was flat. Dismissive even as if just the thought of it all was nothing but a waste of his precious time.

"Feelings like that... they come and go because they are stirred in the heat of the moment. But interest? Now, that endures."

Darius covered Xion with the blanket up to his slender neck while continuing to preach, "Attraction fades, Xion. But use, loyalty, purpose... Those last longer."

"As for like and love," He scoffed. " It is nothing but a useless thing to manipulate little fools."

Not all do that... Xion silently gulped, trying to force the defensive words down his throat.

’Love is a thing to manipulate little fools.’ His Grace had said so, but...

What if I really want to stay by your side? Without any interest, without any greed?

"The people who say that they want nothing in return," Darius added, "are the ones who are more greedy than anyone. Stay away from them, alright? All they know is how to talk sweetly and use you until nothing is left."

And with that, the first person Xion had ever fallen for broke his heart. The archduke had just rejected the very notion of affection itself.

So he’d been right.

To Darius, he was like a pet. Amusing at some times, occasionally useful, and someone to pet when convenient.

Only a pet and not someone to love... I see.

Something shattered and a dull ache bloomed in his chest, but he didn’t let it show.

Instead, a soft smile tugged at his lips.

His hand slowly rose and gently brushed against Darius’s forehead.

"If you keep frowning like that," Xion spoke with deliberate amusement, "you’ll get wrinkles. Then no one will like you, even if you want them to."

Darius snorted, "Who would say no to me?"

Xion’s eyes softened as he laughed lightly. "But you’re not willing to ask, Your Grace."

There was no malice in his voice. Just a light, teasing warmth. But something in it made Darius pause.

He allowed those slender fingers to trace a path from his temple to his cheek.

The Archduke didn’t pull away. Rather he leaned into Xion’s touch.

"If I asked..." Darius grasped Xion’s hand, pressing it closer to his face, "...would you say no?"

Xion’s smile widened and the watery sheen in his deep blue eyes shimmered. "Yes, Your Grace. I’ll say no to you."

And a frown was back on Darius’ forehead.

Neither of them spoke after that while the words were still circling around their ears.

Then Darius tilted just a little closer.

Xion didn’t move away. Not even when the warm breath brushed against his face.

Darius leaned in until their foreheads almost touched. He guided that soft hand down his face... until it was placed on his chest.

"Do you feel it?"

Xion glanced at his hand and then back at Darius. He felt it. A powerful heartbeat free from any restraint, free from any pain. It was pulsing with new life.

It wasn’t supposed to be possible though. Severe mana drain didn’t recover so simply, and certainly not this cleanly.

But Xion’s own mana worked like a new support system.

The white of his energy had woven into the deep green of Darius’s own, mixing together so seamlessly now it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began.

Due to Darius’ body being familiar with Xion’s mana, it was also keeping the rejection at bay.

Of course, his grace was still weak, still in need of proper care.

Because despite using his ring and depleting almost all of his own mana, Darius was only around 60 % full. It was above the safety level.

His Grace had such a huge mana system that it was impossible to fill it all up in one fell sweep.

However, Xion did not need to do anything for that. As His Grace’s body recovered with time, the mana would also rise.

Most importantly, now there would be no more episodes when the Archduke had to shrink his form and hide from others just to survive.

"Thanks to you, I’ll live," Darius still held Xion’s palm, rubbing it with his calloused fingers.

"Xion... tell me what it is that you wish for, and I’ll lay it at your feet."

I can even give you the empire, he thought. All of Eldoria Lunareth, my North, anything. Just say the word...

He didn’t say that aloud. Instead, he waited for those chapped lips to part and demand.

He needed Xion to ask. To want. So that he could give it all to him.

And if it was someone else Xion wanted... well, Darius still knew how to make things disappear.

Sacrifices to the orcs were also not unheard of. Not that he lacked other ways.

Nonetheless, he did not want to make it too bloody and scare his kitten.

It is fine as long as I keep it away from your eyes, right? A dark gleam flashed past his eyes.

Xion, meanwhile, felt the mana thrumming gently under his fingertips. Just like that, the tightening ache in his chest disappeared.

Yes, Xion pondered, this is what I wished for. For Darius to live a healthy and long life.

Moonshade Affliction was gone. And with it, was gone any reason for a healer to remain bound to the archduke’s side.

Xion smiled at Darius, "Can I hug you... Rael?"

Anyway, he’d already been audacious enough. What was one more small push across the line?

Xion’s smile was soft, bright... and yet, devastatingly painful.

Why? The archduke who prided himself on understanding human emotions was confused.

Darius did not reply. He directly brought Xion into his embrace.

His arms wrapped tightly around Xion’s too-thin frame, drawing him close until there was no space between them.

Then, he sighed. Xion was too thin.

From now on, he would be the one taking care of him. Feeding him. Watching over him.

’We need to put some flesh on you.’

Xion had said to him many times and now it was his turn to do the same.

Just the thought of pampering Xion made Darius’ lips curl up, only to rise even higher when Xion hugged him back.

"Goodbye, Your Grace," Xion’s voice came out muffled.

"What?"

"Nothing, just... I think I’ll miss you."

Darius laughed. The low husky sound rumbled through his barely clothed chest and echoed warmly in Xion’s ear.

He secretly kissed those black strands while saying, "Do you want me to change back?"

There was an obvious hint of teasing in his voice. "I can still become the Rael you are more familiar with. The one you called sweetheart."

"No," taking a deep breath, Xion closed his eyes. "Thank you."

This is enough for me.

Even when Xion had a bare minimum of hope hidden in his heart, it was extinguished at the end of this conversation.

The Archduke was someone destined for greatness.

How could he— an illegitimate son of nobility, someone even his own parents hadn’t wanted— ever hope to stand at his side?

So Xion chose to cherish this one moment. This one perfect, impossible moment.

Considering it his parting gift, Xion snuggled deeper into Darius’ arms.

Exhaustion took over him and Xion quietly fell asleep again.