Heretical Fishing-Chapter 71Book 4: : Loot Goblin

Time seemed to stand still for everything—bar the midnight vortices of chi that exited an eldritch horror, crossed the sands, and flowed into a couple of married krakens. I’d seen nothing like this before, so I had absolutely no clue what to expect from such a bonding.

It was beyond compare.

An elemental and two cultivators of the same aspect all became one, their cores expanding into a single orb that engulfed them. When it retracted once more, it split into three parts of the same darkness. A flash of light exploded out into the world, black and hungry and compassionate.

It faded as fast as it arrived. Though none of them looked physically changed, the power radiating from their cores had—all were shockingly strong.

I fist-pumped on the spot, overwhelmed with emotions. “Let’s fracking go! That’s—”

I cut off, my head darting to the side as violent intent flared. Claws had murder in her eyes as she pulled back a paw and filled it with lightning. The subject of her ire grew more animated, attempting to pull off his heist before she could stop him.

The raccoon, both hero of the day and entirely unworthy of trust, gripped a shadow. The little bastard had someone stolen some of the abyssal light. He was trying to stuff it into one of his master’s pockets.

Claws’s screech was deafening as her forearm descended. She cracked him over the head with her fist, sending him rocketing downward. Are you seeking to kill me? she demanded. He hadn’t relinquished his inky prize despite his top half becoming lodged in the shore. Let that go this instant, mister!

His paw trembled, shook, then relaxed. The shadow flowed back into the kraken and his new masters, though that title was a misnomer, really. They were equals. They were friends. They were family.

“That’s it!” I yelled, throwing my hands high. “If I see one more wholesome moment, my heart is gonna explode!”

“Lie,” Theo said. “You’re clearly enjoying yourself.”

I tried to refute his claim, but I forgot all about it when Maria hugged me from the back. “Yep!” she confirmed. “That was just an excuse. He was about to say we—”

“Should have a feast?” I finished. “To celebrate our new friends? Wonderful suggestion, Maria!”

She was still behind me, so I couldn’t see her roll her eyes—which was why she repeated the gesture through our connection.

“First, though . . .” I rubbed my hands together. “We have some spoils to collect. Borks, would you please grab those things beneath the boat?”

With a ruff, a few wags of the tail, and an expertly placed portal, ten crystallized fossils tumbled onto the sand.

“See these, Ellis? They’re natural artifacts. I’m not entirely sure what that means yet, but I know they shouldn’t exist!”

The power radiating from them proved the truth of my claim. I watched the archivist closely, but all he gave them was an appreciative nod, the chi circling his abdomen keeping him unperturbed.

“That didn’t work, huh? How about this, then . . .” I rubbed my hands together again, unable to keep my internal loot goblin at bay. “Hey, Theo?”

“Yes?”

“You know how we freed like . . . a whole bunch of elementals?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I reckon every single one of those could have been an external threat. I also assert that we learned a swathe of hidden knowledge.”

He blinked at me a few times. “Okay? Why are you telling me this?”

“Are you serious? It—” I shook my head. “Never mind. They were the truth, right? The two things I just told you?”

“I mean, yeah, but I’m more worried about your hunched posture—and the fact you’re rubbing your hands together like a greedy merchant. No offense, Marcus.”

“None taken. It is rather off-putting, friend Fischer.”

My palms froze mid-rub, and I pouted at their smiles to hide my own. “I won’t apologize for being excited about loot.”

“And the posture?” Marcus asked. “You look like your spine is in great pain.”

I stood straight. “That’s Maria’s fault. She forgets her strength, and when she hugged me from behind, she—”

“Lie,” Maria and Theo said.

An amused aura washed out of the kraken, his black eyes glittering with white specks. “Is it always like this?”

George and Geraldine nodded.

“Afraid so, mate.” I let out an obnoxiously long sigh. “I’m often the victim of my friends’ cruel, cruel jokes. Poor Fischer gets mocked, when all poor Fischer wants is love and—”

Maria flicked my arm. “Keep talking about yourself in third person, and you’ll never be loved again.”

“But you know what?” I asked the kraken. “Fisch—” I cut off, realizing I’d almost immediately done it again.

“Smooooth,” she said.

“Thank you. Despite their teasing, my many-limbed octo-pal, I do all of it for them, this included.”

Before anyone could reply, I did something silly, calling upon an entity whose very existence was antithetical to the leisurely life I tried to lead—I willed the System to show me my notifications.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

It was bogged down with a whole bunch of level-up messages. None were what I sought. I scrolled down, passing almost a hundred different advancements in Cooking, Chi Manipulation, Leadership, and some other things that were neat but didn’t really matter.

Okay, I guess a couple of them were kind of important. I took a moment to internalize each of those while I was here—which I absorbed only so I needn’t check again later, and definitely not because part of me enjoyed seeing the numbers go up.

You have advanced to leadership 72!

You have advanced to Chi Manipulation 56!

Hold up, I thought. Chi Manipulation?

The last time that skill had been mentioned was when I unlocked it. Deklan had read it on an artifact back in Gormona when he was a guard. The screen had called me unlocking it an “ascension milestone.”

That wasn’t the weird part, though—the fact it was gaining levels was. I had a running theory that capitalized skills couldn’t get stronger. They certainly hadn’t up until this moment. I would have to check it out when I had more ti—

“Do you think he’s having a stoke?” came Barry’s voice.

“I hope not,” Maria replied. “I’m quite fond of him—but don’t tell him I said that.”

Ignoring them, I raced to the bottom of the list, seeking that which was enticing enough for me to willingly summon my oldest nemesis. When I got there, I blinked at the entries occupying my field of view.

“Oh, come on!” I dismissed it and summoned it again, only to receive the same result.

Quest: In Defense of Tropica Village

Objective: Tropica Village has become a Tier 2 village. The evolution brings many benefits, which others will yearn for. Defend Tropica against ten external threats.

Progress: 0/10

Reward: Variable

Quest: Hidden Knowledge

Objective: Because of the combined efforts of Tropica Village, chi has returned to part of the world. Discover three long-forgotten secrets.

Progress: 0/3

Reward: A History of the Kallis Wars, Seventh Edition

Barry’s voice greeted me as I dismissed the entries once more. “I don’t think he had a stroke, but it could definitely be some sort of episode. Should we put him to bed?”

“Damn . . .” I chewed my cheek. “I really thought that would have completed the quest . . .”

“What?” he asked, genuine curiosity seeming to override his desire to mess with me. “What quests?”

“The quests! There’s one to defend Tropica against ten threats, and one to discover three secrets! I thought for sure that we’d get some good rewards from them, considering we’d done their requirements and then . . . some?” I trailed off when I noticed just how similar my friends’ expressions were. “You’re messing with me. All of you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Why do you say that?” Maria asked, her eyes dancing.

“You literally know what I’m talking about because of our bond, and you have the exact same expression as everyone else.” My loving and treasonous friends grinned, and I turned to the kraken. “See what they put me through? I’m surrounded on all sides”—I jabbed a finger toward the sky—“and you!System! What the frack, my guy? I extended an olive branch, and you smacked me down! I’m starting to think you’re not a thoughtless program at all! I reckon you’re intentionally trying to rustle my jimmies, you cheeky little fu—”

Crack!

A bolt of invisible force struck my mind and body both. The surrounding scene wasn’t altered, yet my field of view changed completely, the words unignorable.

Quest: Hidden Knowledge

Progress: 1/3

The 1 became a 2, then a 3, climbing numerous times in a fraction of a second. Finally, it stopped.

Quest: Hidden Knowledge

Progress: 17/3

Reward: Calculating . . .

I stumbled. The same force that struck me started streaming onto the sand. Maria caught my arm. Together, we watched three books appear in midair, next to the one most suited to the chi coming from them.

Ellis cocked his head at the tomes, appeared to think for a second, then swept his hand through them. They vanished.

More words came.

Progress: 65/3

Reward: Calculating . . .

More books. Same sweeping motion from Ellis, his essence storing them . . . somewhere. It happened again and again until, finally, the cycle was broken.

Quest complete: Hidden Knowledge

Progress: 486/3

Reward: A History of the Kallis Wars, All Editions

I took a ragged breath as I dismissed the last message. Maria held me upright. My eyes flicked to Ellis. The archivist stared into the far distance with a flat expression. Despite the fatigue rocking me, I couldn’t miss the storm of chi swirling within his core.

“They’re in your library, mate?” I asked.

When he returned to the present, a glimpse of the old Ellis came with him. Both his hands tensed; his notepad creaked, his pencil was reduced to splinters.

A blur of black and red. Rocky appeared. He withdrew a cigarette, lit it on his carapace, pressed it between Ellis’s lips, then smacked the man on the sternum.

Ellis gasped, visage crazed as he inhaled the entire ciggy in one breath. He held it in for an objectively too-long moment. As he exhaled a fountain of smoke, the old Ellis went with it, leaving a cool, calm, and collected man on the sands.

“I thank you, Rocky. And yes, Fischer. I have stored the information in my library, which also means—”

“You’ve learned it all,” I finished. “That’s what happens when you put books on your internal shelves?”

“Quite.” He dropped the handful of splinters and retrieved a fresh pencil from his pocket, pressing its tip to his notepad as he looked up at me. “May I ask how you worked that out?”

“The progress kept climbing every time you absorbed . . .” I trailed off, my head spinning. “Sorry. One second.”

Maria bopped me on the nose. “Sit down, you goose. We have all the time in the world for this chat. You need rest.”

I let her lower me to the ground, and though I wasn’t instantly cured, bracing my chin on my knees did wonders for my mind. The secrets of this realm were ours. I’d yet to learn them all, but with them catalogued in Ellis’s brain, it was only a matter of time—not to mention the kraken, a being who’d literally lived through history.

Another thought struck me, and I raised my head, having to get it off my chest. “You’re an absolute bastard, you know that?” I asked the sky.

Maria giggled. “I know the System is your archnemesis, but you should probably thank it—I can only imagine how much the information in those books is going to help us. It was enough to almost reset Ellis, and he was able to weather the existence of our kraken pal.”

I blew air through my lips. “The only thing I’ll thank the System for right now is not finishing the other quest, too. Don’t get me wrong, I’m keen for Tropica to upgrade, but I’m not sure I could have that power flow through me and remain consciou—”

CRACK!

It was my own fault, really. I’d shown weakness, and my oldest enemy had pounced. Before my vision went black, I registered the words before me, my enhanced awareness easily able to parse their meaning.

Quest: In Defense of Tropica Village

Progress: 79/10

Reward: Tropica upgraded from Tier 2 to Tier 3.

Huh, I thought, unable to feel the power no doubt pouring through me. Neat . . .

I passed out.