I Became the Drug-Addicted Childhood Friend-Chapter 79

But why was I holding the kitchen knife?

Get a grip.

This isn’t good.

Why was I holding the kitchen knife?

Was I going to stab someone?

Shihu?

Or the white-haired woman?

Hmm.

Cooking.

I was cooking, so maybe that's why I had it in my hand.

But the cooking finished hours ago, and there was nothing to chop with the knife.

So why was I holding it?

I need to snap out of this.

Why am I acting like this?

Maybe it's because I haven’t slept.

I haven’t slept.

I can’t afford to sleep if Shihu might sneak out again while I’m asleep.

Am I hurt somewhere?

I check the mirror.

I don’t look like I’m injured.

I’ve been taking the medicine Shihu gave me regularly.

There’s nothing wrong.

I see the necklace.

It was a gift from Shihu.

"This..."

Honestly, I don’t care.

I wasn’t particularly interested in the necklace.

I’m not the type who likes to dress up.

"I don’t need this."

I’d rather just be together.

That’s better than receiving gifts.

Shihu told me to

keep wearing it.

But now, I don’t want to anymore.

It feels suffocating.

How did I even take it off?

Click.

While I’m thinking about it, I hear the sound of the doorknob turning.

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Shihu’s back.

He’s back sooner than I expected.

I rush to the front door to greet him.

"You’re back?"

It’s early.

He’s only been gone for less than 30 minutes.

So, that woman must have told him about me.

That I had seen her.

I figured it would be something like this.

Is he feeling guilty about something?

"...Seo Ah, about yesterday..."

"Yeah."

Explain yourself.

"......"

"Hmm?"

It seems like he’s having trouble explaining.

He looks like he doesn’t know where to start.

"So..."

At this rate, I’ll have to bring it up myself.

I didn’t want to interrogate him like this.

"What’s your relationship with her?"

What could it be?

He doesn’t answer.

So, I keep asking.

Everything that’s been on my mind.

"She’s your coworker, right? What kind of coworker?"

"Why didn’t you tell me?"

"What were you doing yesterday? Why did you come back so late?"

"Is this because of me?"

"What kind of injection did you get? Tell me."

He doesn’t answer.

Why?

Is it really something so hard to explain?

"Ugh, I don’t need this necklace..."

Why don’t you just give it to her?

I try to take it off, but Shihu grabs my arm.

"No."

"...Huh?"

"Don’t take it off."

Why?

He’s reacting strangely to this.

It’s my choice to take it off, right?

"I don’t want it. I’m going to take it off."

"Listen to me."

"It’s suffocating. You gave it to me as a gift, so it’s mine, right? I can do what I want with it."

Did I say something wrong?

It’s a problem if he doesn’t explain why I can’t take it off.

"No, keep wearing it."

"Huh?"

I don’t understand.

Why is he being so commanding about something so trivial?

If he tells me not to do something, I just want to do it more.

Just as I’m about to take it off, Shihu grabs both my arms.

"I told you not to."

"Ugh."

His gaze is intense.

Shihu looks desperate.

"I’m doing this all for you."

"What do you mean?"

"So please."

Is there something about the necklace?

Why is he looking so uneasy?

Is something going to happen if I take it off?

I don’t understand.

If he’s acting like this, I can’t take it off.

Then, I have a suggestion.

"Then, will you stay with me? I won’t take off the necklace."

"......"

"Hmm? What do you think?"

Is the necklace really that important?

I don’t understand anything.

But if I can be with Shihu, that’s all that matters.

"...Okay."

Shihu finally answers.

He’ll stay with me.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Then, I won’t ask anything more. We’ll just pretend everything didn’t happen."

That’s good, right?

Right?

I think it’s a good idea!

Shihu’s expression isn’t great.

Does he really not want to be with me like this?

"Shihu?"

"......"

Without saying anything, Shihu takes something out.

"Shihu...?"

Shihu is holding a syringe.

Why?

Where did that come from?

"Shihu?"

A sense of foreboding hits me, and I step back, trying to distance myself from him.

But my arm is grabbed.

"Shihu...?"

Something’s wrong.

He’s planning to use that syringe on me.

It’s a syringe he seems to have prepared in advance.

"What... what are you trying to do? Huh?"

He’s trying to inject me.

I don’t know what it is, but it feels like I shouldn’t let him do this.

But Shihu would never do something bad to me.

His grip on my arm doesn’t loosen.

He seems to be hesitating about whether or not to use the syringe.

"I... I just... since you haven’t said anything, I’m worried about you, that’s all."

Did he catch me holding the kitchen knife?

Did he realize something’s wrong with my mind?

My condition’s been strange lately.

So?

"Ah, uh... it’s..."

Shihu is doing something for me.

Then, this must be for me too.

I don’t know what kind of drug it is, but it must be something good for me.

If it’s not, if he’s trying to hurt me, if he’s just doing this because he doesn’t like me...

Then I’ll just die.

"Okay. I get it. Do what you want. Are you not going to tell me what kind of syringe it is?"

"This is..."

"You’re not doing this because you don’t like me, right?"

"Never."

I have to believe that Shihu is doing this for me.

I shouldn’t entertain the idea of the opposite.

"Then, can’t you tell me something? I’m scared."

"Ugh..."

Shihu hesitates.

"...It’s a drug that erases memories."

"What? Memory?"

"Yeah."

Is he really going to use that on me now?

Why?

Is telling me this part of the reason?

If I forget, I won’t even remember that I was injected with something that erases my memory?

"...Why? Why memory?"

Why erase memories?

Wait, does that mean all the weirdness in my memory is because of this drug?

My earlier guess about amnesia turns out to be right.

"What happened? How many times have you used this on me?"

I’m scared.

What really happened?

"S-So, are you doing this because I saw that white-haired woman? You’re trying to make me forget?"

I’m horrified.

This isn’t like him.

The memories that have been erased must have been important.

This isn’t the Shihu I know.

"Did I bother you with questions? Was it because I didn’t listen?"

If this is really erasing memories, that’s a pretty convenient way to handle things.

"...I’m sorry."

"You... you... this isn’t the Shihu I know..."

Shihu wouldn’t act like this.

Something’s gone terribly wrong.

"If I just found out a little bit, it could be like this... I’m sorry. Just hold on until everything is resolved. It’s almost over."

"Almost over?"

For the first time, I see a glimmer of hope in Shihu’s expression.

"...We’re almost at the happy ending."

A happy ending.

Well, if Shihu says so, I guess that’s how it is.

I have no idea what part of this is happy.

"It’s paradise. I’m going to create a paradise for us."

"Shihu, you..."

This is really strange.

Something is seriously wrong.

"[Definitely.]"

"......"

Memories buried deep within me start to resurface.

There’s something strangely familiar about it.

"I’ll definitely succeed. I’ll do whatever it takes to save you."

The syringe.

The drug.

These are familiar combinations.

And a familiar figure comes to mind.

The sick person.

Yes.

I was sick back then too.

I went to get the medicine.

But it wasn’t the medicine I wanted.

"So, [listen to me.]"

I have to listen.

"...Yes."

I’ll listen.

I have no choice.

Why is he speaking like that?

Only that person speaks like that.

Because that person is a good person.

Who?

I mean, the doctor.

Is Shihu the doctor?

No, that’s not it...

I was trying to say I should listen to the doctor.

Why couldn’t I think of the word "doctor"?

But why is the doctor here?

Ah, the drug.

Is he here to give me the drug?

Plop.

The syringe is inserted.

So, my memory is going to be erased like this.

But I didn’t pay the doctor.

The medicine is expensive.

"Why are you here?"

Let’s ask.

Why is the doctor here?

"I never called you."

Thanks to that, memories start to come back.

But they’ll be erased soon enough.

Think about it.

It doesn’t make sense.

Shihu wouldn’t erase my memories just because things went wrong.

Antipsychotic drugs, delusions, hallucinations, thought disorders.

I remember the scrap of paper I found at home.

It’s because of the delusions and hallucinations that I saw Shihu as the doctor.

So that’s what was going on.

The white-haired woman too, hallucinations?

It must be.

That’s the only explanation.

I’m so anxious for no reason.

Shihu isn’t the one doing this.

He’s the doctor.

He’s not someone who would think like that.

He wouldn’t trap me in my house, or keep erasing my memory until he gets what he wants.

"Ah, where is Shihu?"

Where is the real Shihu?

If the person in front of me is the doctor, then where is the real Shihu?

"......"

"Please answer..."

Did I kill Shihu?

Seeing myself holding the knife earlier, maybe I did.

If that’s true, I’ve committed a terrible sin.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry, Shihu.

Even if the person in front of me is the real Shihu,

Even if the real Shihu is using drugs on me,

Even if it’s all for me and he’s doing strange things for me...

It’s my fault.

It’s because of me that Shihu has ended up like this.

"You’re the doctor."

He has to be the doctor.

How did Shihu end up like this?

The drug’s effects are kicking in.

My body feels weak.

The drug that erases memories.

It’s so convenient.

Shihu’s expression is that of someone who’s done something they can’t handle.

I see despair in someone who can’t control themselves.

Why are you becoming just like me?

"Happy ending..."

It exists, doesn’t it?

There’s a way to be happy.

I think I was happy once.

Back then...

...What was it like back then?

Ah, I’m sure I was with Shihu back then.

Shihu and I...

We must have done something together.

Ah, I can’t remember.

But the truth is, I was happy then.

Even though the place I lived wasn’t great, I was content.

But whose fault is it that this happiness was broken?

It feels like someone kicked Seo Ah into a pit.

Shihu tried to grab her hand.

He followed Seo Ah to pull her out, but now, she falls on her own.

Into a deeper abyss.

It’s too late now.

It seems like no one will escape.