I Became the Drug-Addicted Childhood Friend-Chapter 81

Hansihoo once played with a balloon.

It’s fun when you throw it filled with water.

And inevitably, there’s one thing you have to try.

How much water can you put into the balloon before it bursts?

What’s the tipping point where it can just barely hold on?

You fill the balloon.

Attach it to the faucet, secure it so it doesn’t fall off, and wait.

It swells and swells until, finally, pop.

Laughing, you finish the game.

The problem is, Seo Ah is in a situation similar to that balloon.

She hasn’t burst yet, and she’s surprisingly flexible... but she’s like a balloon on the verge of popping.

For the balloon, the water is like mana to Seo Ah.

If even a little more mana is added, she’ll explode.

The balloon, which should have burst by now, is being held together by tape. It’s hard to tell now if it’s still a balloon or just a pile of tape.

There’s really no solution.

Hansihoo has two plans in mind.

One is to find a way to treat Seo Ah.

That plan is ongoing.

"...I have to do something."

Hansihoo has tried to find a cure, even injecting himself with drugs in the process, but he feels himself gradually becoming addicted.

The drug, combined with the purification penalty, gnaws at his mind.

Of course, the power of the drug helped him clear out the villains faster.

He crushed the opposing organizations, took control of the drug-making factories, and killed any enemies that appeared.

He even obtained proof that the doctor is still alive.

But the treatment method remains unknown.

Even with the Saintess, they’ve tried several treatment methods, but none of them worked.

Hansihoo has started to feel something like a dragon-like power stirring within himself.

It seems like there’s no answer.

Unless he can go back to the past, it feels like there’s no way to solve this.

And so, there’s really only one last resort.

If he can’t create a happy ending through normal methods, Hansihoo is thinking about going back to the past.

Not just restoring his memories, but literally changing the past.

In other words, Hansihoo has the power of a protagonist.

A protagonist has the power to make their wishes come true.

He wanted to be good at swordsmanship, so he gained sword skills.

He wanted to handle magic, so he gained magical skills.

He wanted to run fast, so he developed a dash skill.

He wanted to erase bad things, so he gained a purification skill, and to light up everything with light, he acquired light-based skills.

Recently, he gained drug resistance skills because he wanted to overcome the drugs.

And one of the things Hansihoo most desired...

To return to the past.

A powerful desire to live like before gave birth to a new skill.

[Retry]

A retry.

The description of the skill is as follows:

[This can be used when you have given up everything. You will return to the past to fulfill your wish.]

The phrase "giving up everything" is very meaningful.

It’s a skill Hansihoo would find hard to use, even if he wanted to.

Because he has never really given up everything.

He suspects that it would only activate if he tried to commit suicide.

There are things like this in games.

You put a coin in and revive your character.

This probably feels like that kind of retry.

So, if there’s truly no other way, Hansihoo has no choice but to place his fate in this skill.

"...No, this isn’t right."

He says, looking into the mirror.

Hansihoo now understands why Seo Ah muttered to herself in front of the mirror.

"This isn’t right."

[Retry]

A strange sense of reassurance, as if there’s one more chance.

A temptation to live comfortably.

Even if Seo Ah breaks down, he can just go back to the past and fix it.

If an unmanageable problem arises, he can just go back and erase it.

These thoughts spring up everywhere.

"Try harder."

Was Seo Ah feeling the same way?

Even with the skill, it’s hard to endure.

He sees himself being consumed by the drug, even as he uses it.

Seo Ah must have suffered a lot.

Hansihoo feels crushed by guilt.

After personally feeling the effects of the drug, he realizes just how much Seo Ah has endured.

He used to think only the weak succumbed to the drugs. But now he concludes that all humans are weak.

"Shihu, what are you doing?"

"...I was just... looking in the mirror."

"Are you going out again today?"

"Yeah."

He nods and prepares to leave.

Today, he plans to raid what he suspects is the doctor's base.

"...Why are you leaving?"

Seo Ah always asks like this.

Sometimes he says he can’t tell her, or just makes up some excuse.

It’s become part of their daily routine.

"Hey, Seo Ah?"

But today, something’s different.

Seo Ah is holding the kitchen knife.

It doesn’t seem like she’s trying to attack, but it’s an unusual behavior.

"You know... I’m just worried about you, Shihu..."

"Why the kitchen knife?"

"You’re not hanging out with bad people, are you?"

"No, I’m not."

The kitchen knife makes her seem scary.

Of course, Hansihoo could overpower her easily, but there’s a different kind of fear.

"Ah... Hmm... Is there anything I can help with? Hmm?"

As Seo Ah speaks while holding the kitchen knife, Hansihoo can’t relax.

Seo Ah’s expression is kind, but it feels like the knife she’s holding could be used as a weapon.

"It’s fine."

No need to help.

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Really, it’s fine.

"...Are you sure there’s nothing you need help with? Hmm? Aren’t you doing something dangerous outside?"

"Don’t worry about it."

That’s a lie.

If Hansihoo were to list everything he’s been doing, Seo Ah would be horrified.

"Okay... I see."

Soon, the purpose of the kitchen knife will be decided.

"Then, here."

Seo Ah tries to hand the kitchen knife to Hansihoo.

"Huh?"

"Hmm?"

They don’t understand each other.

"Ah, it’s sharp, so just use it like this. Look."

Seo Ah naturally cuts her palm with the sharp edge of the kitchen knife.

"What are you doing?"

Hansihoo snatches the knife, but it’s too late.

Blood is already flowing from Seo Ah’s hand.

"You need a weapon, don’t you? You don’t seem to be carrying anything these days."

It seems like she gave him the kitchen knife thinking it was a weapon.

However, it’s a misconception that Hansihoo doesn’t have a weapon.

He has a space pocket, or should we say an inventory, where things are carefully stored out of sight.

Originally, it wasn’t large enough to hold weapons, but as his skill levels rose, even weapons could be stored there.

"I’m fine. Look."

Swoosh.

A sword appears in his hand.

It’s one of the weapons he had stored.

He even shows her how it’s put back into the space pocket.

"Wow..."

"I keep my weapons stored separately. For now, wash your hand quickly. I’ll disinfect and put some medicine on it."

Is it normal for someone to casually cut themselves like that?

It was a light cut, so it’ll heal soon, but...

Would the old Seo Ah have done this?

No, that’s impossible.

Hansihoo’s attempt to return Seo Ah to the state he knew is clearly impossible.

Of course, he knows this.

This is just a temporary measure.

It’s a deception to cover the wound so Seo Ah doesn’t suffer.

Without fundamental treatment, it will eventually burst.

[Retry]

Will there ever come a time when he gives up everything?

This is a skill he’d tried not to think about.

It wasn’t even on the list of options, the second plan or anything.

But the more time passes, the more he finds himself drawn to it.

But Hansihoo won’t give up.

He will overcome this.

Because Seo Ah hasn’t given up either.

"Hmm? Why are you looking at me?"

Seo Ah makes a face as if she doesn’t understand.

No, maybe Seo Ah has given up.

She’s the one who said the memory-restoring drug was good.

She’s the one who mumbled that she wanted to die.

She’s the one who lost her sanity from drug addiction and tried to kill Hansihoo.

"Ah, I think I look like I’m smiling. Hehe."

She draws a picture on her skin with the blood flowing from her palm.

Is it appropriate to call this innocent?

- This isn’t the Seo Ah you know.

- Just kill her.

- She seems dead already anyway.

The purification penalty speaks in his mind.

And now, those voices, influenced by the penalty, don’t seem so wrong, which makes things worse.

"Shihu?"

Seo Ah asks when she notices his bad expression.

She starts to reflect, wondering if she did something wrong.

"...Ah, I did something strange, didn’t I? Ah. Yeah, cutting my hand was weird. It’s just... a habit."

Mumbling.

"My mind’s been off lately, so that’s why. It’s all because of him... No, I mean... sorry..."

It’s hard for Hansihoo to watch Seo Ah act like this.

There’s no way he could give up.

He can’t give up on Seo Ah.

Hansihoo hugs Seo Ah without thinking.

"Ah, uh, oh... oh..."

After a moment of hesitation, Seo Ah hugs him back.

"Sorry..."

Hansihoo apologizes.

He’s lost count of how many times he’s apologized.

It’s hard to answer if someone asks what exactly he’s apologizing for.

He’s done so many things to be sorry for.

"Ah... yeah... Shihu, if there’s something tough, even if you don’t say it... it’s okay to just quit. I won’t say anything."

It’s okay to give up.

She whispers this in his ear.

"You said you were going out to do something... Don’t push yourself. You don’t need to hold on to something so difficult."

But Hansihoo has no intention of giving up.

He has to find a way out.

"So... yeah... would you like to stay here with me instead of going out?"

That sounds nice.

Hansihoo almost answers without thinking.

He feels the warmth of Seo Ah in his arms and wants to say yes.

But, still...

There are things that need to be done.

Or, perhaps he should just give up on everything and spend time with Seo Ah, using drugs together.

Since everything seems doomed anyway, maybe they can just have fun and start over.

"No, I have work to do."

He shakes off the temptation.

"Yeah..."

"I’ll be done soon, so just wait a little."

He won’t give up.

He can’t throw away his responsibilities just because things are hard.

Hansihoo’s only responsibility is to ensure Seo Ah’s happy ending.