I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality-Chapter 153 - 98 Little Wife_2

Xu Qing grinned as he escorted the guests out, and when they left, he turned to the embroidery girl who was busy washing dishes with flowing water.

"Where did you get the food and oil from the banquet?"

The embroidery girl replied curiously, "Of course, I bought it. Didn’t you ask me to cook? We had nothing at home, so I took a few coins from the counter. You knew about this."

"You, a ghost, went out to buy groceries? Didn’t you scare the vendors to death?"

"That’s easy. Just don’t let them see me. I took the food, left the money, and just walked away."

Xu Qing thought about it and realized it made sense!

"I’ll handle the shopping next time. You should stop wandering around too far. What if you run into a Taoist priest or a monk? They might just exorcize you with a flip of their hand!"

The embroidery girl giggled, "I didn’t go far. I bought the vegetables from the store right across the street."

"?"

Xu Qing was wondering if there was a grocery store across the street, and suddenly, the owner of the Incense and Candle Shop barged in hurriedly.

She looked at the young man standing alone by the water basin and asked, "Brother Xu, just finished eating?"

Xu Qing watched as bowls and plates fell from the air; he caught them silently with his hands.

"Just finished. Have you eaten, Boss Cheng?"

Before Xu Qing could say more, Cheng Caiyun exploded.

"Not a single bite! Someone with sticky fingers stole the food I bought. They left half a string of money, but who knows which rascal it was? If they steal food one day, what’s next, sneaking into my bed at night..."

"How could your sis-in-law live with such shame!"

Cheng Caiyun said this while wiping away tears.

Xu Qing glared at the embroidery girl who was watching the drama unfold, then comforted, "Boss Cheng, don’t be afraid. Since that ’mischief ghost’ left money, it shows they have some morals and respect for rules..."

"What if they have evil intentions, harass me, leave some silver, and run away? Is that considered honorable?"

"..."

Cheng Caiyun sat down on a stool and said, "My husband passed away early, leaving me, a lonely widow. Recently, a thief jumped into my yard and stole the hundred eggs I had stored. Those eggs were for you, and I never forgot the promise I made to you."

Cheng Caiyun spoke as if it was nothing, but if those eggs hadn’t been stolen, she would have said her hens were sensitive to cold and heat, so they didn’t lay eggs all year round.

Xu Qing glared again at the embroidery girl, blaming her for causing trouble.

This time, the embroidery girl retorted softly, "Don’t blame me, I didn’t take her eggs!"

"Who’s talking? Scholar Xu, did you hear that? It sounded like a woman’s voice."

"Boss Cheng, you’re the only woman here. There’s no one else. Perhaps you misheard. As for what you mentioned..." Xu Qing paused and laughed, "In this line of work, who dares to steal from us? They wouldn’t want to risk getting cursed."

As he spoke, Xu Qing took out a Peace Talisman from his sleeve and handed it to Cheng Caiyun.

"This is a Peace Talisman from the Immortal Temple. It’s said to be very effective. Keep it with you, and it should ward off small thieves."

Cheng Caiyun treasured the talisman, examining it carefully.

Her face flushed as she gave Xu Qing a coquettish look, "Brother Xu, you really care about me."

"To tell you the truth, I’m twenty-nine this year, a bit older, but still in good shape..."

"..." Xu Qing sensed something amiss and quickly interrupted, "Boss Cheng, don’t joke around."

Cheng Caiyun burst into laughter, "Just teasing you. Everyone knows you’ve hidden a young wife at home!"

Xu Qing was puzzled.

Who’s hiding a young wife?

The embroidery girl snorted inwardly, thinking she was the only girl in the shop, but certainly not anyone’s wife.

"Why hide things from your aunt? I saw with my own eyes your little wife helping at the shop when your senior brother came by..."

"Why not call her out and introduce her to your aunt?"

Xu Qing suddenly realized that the "little wife" was referring to the female zombie Xuan Yu.

She was currently in the upright black coffin.

Meanwhile, Xuan Yu, the cat, was playing with two walnuts on the coffin lid.

Xu Qing looked away and said, "That’s my distant cousin. She’s not here now, so don’t misunderstand."

"Cousin? That’s good. Keep it in the family. Don’t let such a lovely girl go to waste," said Cheng Caiyun. "Why not make it official soon..."

Xu Qing cringed.

How could he marry a cold corpse, even if he wanted to?

As soon as Cheng Caiyun left the Funeral Shop, Xu Qing handed the dishes to the embroidery girl.

That night, after drawing a hundred Fireproof Talismans, Xu Qing was satisfied and stopped.

With practice, he had mastered the art of drawing Fireproof Talismans perfectly.

He had also tried drawing Peace Talismans multiple times but only succeeded once out of twenty attempts.

"The lines of the Peace Talisman are more intricate. It requires patience and practice," Xu Qing said, setting down his tools and calling the embroidery girl over.

"I have a residence at Shuimen Bridge, but it’s been unoccupied. I’ll take you there today. From now on, you’ll manage it daily."

"Don’t worry, the house is set up with an array that gathers Yin energy, making it a perfect place for a Yin ghost to cultivate."

"But there are three rules: no matter what you see me doing in the house, don’t interfere or ask questions. Just take care of the house..."

Xu Qing lit incense and candles, conducting a formal hall ceremony, making her a sub-temple steward of the Cat Immortal Hall.

Xu Qing was the Grand Sect Leader, and Xuan Yu was the Hall Master.

After giving the tasks, Xu Qing followed Hu Baosong’s instructions, writing the Heaven and Earth Red Character Post, making the embroidery girl swear an oath.

"Is this necessary to join the hall?" The embroidery girl, a bit hesitant after swearing, could feel an ominous presence, knowing if she broke the oath, she would face dire consequences.

Xu Qing nodded solemnly.

At the fourth watch, the streets were silent.

Xu Qing placed Liu Cai and the other’s bodies into the Box Garden, leading the embroidery girl to the Shuimen Bridge Residence.

Entering the residence, the embroidery girl’s eyes lit up.

She floated around the courtyard, breathing in the gathered Yin energy, feeling as if she was in paradise.

Xu Qing let her wander while he took out Liu Cai and the other’s bodies to continue burying them.

"Why are you burying the bodies here? It’s scary, and I’m afraid living here," said the embroidery girl.

"Didn’t you scare them to death? And now you’re scared?"

Seeing she wanted to say more, Xu Qing paused, "The dead should be buried for peace. They should be buried properly in the ground."

The embroidery girl fell silent.

Xu Qing then realized the ghost’s body had been burned to ashes by her family and scattered somewhere.

...

The next morning, a rooster’s crow pierced the silence of the Funeral Shop.

Xu Qing, who had just returned, was startled.

Roosters naturally deter evil spirits, and their crowing would make minor spirits hide.

Xu Qing was considered a major spirit, but the sudden crowing still unsettled him.

When Golden Simurgh was about to crow a second time, a dark figure appeared behind it, grasping its neck tightly.

"Huh—!" It couldn’t breathe!

Golden Simurgh flapped its wings.

When the grip on its neck loosened, it sneezed twice, finally breathing freely.

"Stop the early morning crows! Remember, no crowing in front of me!"

Golden Simurgh: "..."

As dawn approached, a female Taoist priestess, clad in a blue robe, arrived as expected.

Golden Simurgh greeted Yizhen Daoist like a child seeing an elder, chirping around her.

Though Xu Qing couldn’t understand bird language, he could tell it was complaining about him.

How unpredictable beasts are! He thought, grinning dismissively.