There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL)-Chapter 761: Side Story 4. Endless Journey - 44

Did he have a relationship with someone? Kar shook his head immediately, but the verbal reply came a bit late. "...no."

"I see," Zein nodded. It was clear from the boy’s troubled expression. "You want to reject them?"

Kar flinched, looking up while pursing his lips. It was unfair how both of his fathers always knew exactly what was in his mind. "I’m not sure...I don’t know," he groaned, laying his head on the countertop. "It’s not like there’s a confession or anything..."

At times like that, Zein could feel that his son was also still an inexperienced teenager, not yet an adult despite being a three-star esper already. The boy looked frustrated, clueless and helpless; a cute side he shared with Bassena, and Zein couldn’t help but pat the black hair.

"And you don’t want to hurt their feelings?"

"Yeah..."

Kar sighed, closing his eyes tightly. He had been thinking a lot about this, about what he wanted to do with Byul’s feelings. The more he thought about it, he could only see Byul as a cute little brother. Well...at least for now. But he had no idea how he should act if they met after this.

Could he act like usual, knowing the flusters and the blushes contained a deeper meaning?

Haa...of course he couldn’t.

It wasn’t like he could tell the boy to stop crushing on him too because, once again, there was no official confession. He definitely didn’t want to embarrass Byul or put the boy in an uncomfortable situation. Hearing his father’s words about hurting people’s hearts when he couldn’t reciprocate that feeling made it even heavier.

He definitely, definitely didn’t want to see Byul getting hurt. Imagining the sweet, adorable boy crying in heartbreak brought a lump in Kar’s throat.

Ugh--Kar groaned again. It was his first time having a problem like this and being detached from human relationships so far, it was even harder for him to find a solution properly.

Seeing his oldest’s troubled expression, Zein couldn’t help but feel more and more curious. "Kar, can you tell me who--"

"Father," Kar raised his head abruptly, startling the guide.

"What?"

The heterochromatic eyes narrowed. "I’ve decided."

Zein tilted his head. "Decide what?"

If he couldn’t act normally, he might hurt Byul’s feelings. He definitely didn’t want that, but he also didn’t want to hurt Byul by avoiding the boy.

Then, he just needed to get away naturally.

"I’m going to climb the Tower after getting my license."

"Huh?" Zein blinked, almost dropping his cider in a daze. "What?"

Kar nodded and stroked his chin in contemplation. "Maybe for about four years?"

"Wait--"

"I’m gonna tell Dad!"

Before Zein could stop the boy, Kar was already rushing outside, calling Einar to prepare a car for him so he could go to Trinity.

He heard childhood crush did not last long, so perhaps, by then, Byul’s feelings would already gone. Then, they could interact normally again.

Right?

* * *

"What?!"

The children widened their eyes, staring at the oldest dumbfoundedly. Kar, meanwhile, nonchalantly made his protein smoothie after giving his announcement around the kitchen island. Even Asa only heard about this at the same time as the others.

"What do you mean you’re going to climb the tower again?" Lucy slammed the marble countertop, prompting Asa to grimace and hold her hands so the table wouldn’t crack. "You just returned a while ago!"

"Well, it’s good to climb as high as I can while I’m still young," Kar shrugged. "Like Dad."

"Ugh..."

Lucy pursed her lips because she couldn’t refute that. Their esper father did climb the Tower diligently that he ended up becoming the youngest Saint class in the continent. Even to that day, no one had ever broken his record.

Knowing that people had been making predictions and questioning whether or not Kar would live up to their father’s big name, Lucy couldn’t protest anymore.

"Are you doing this...because people have been comparing you and Dad?" Lucy asked again, this time softer.

"Hmm..." Kar took some time to think of a response while drinking his smoothie.

Honestly, he didn’t care much about people’s opinions. He rarely had any social interaction, had no social media, and never read about strangers’ discussions on link. Besides, Ophiuchus already told him that he would have a harder time developing his power.

But it did sound like a good excuse.

"You can say that," he said after finishing his smoothie. "I’ll just try what I can."

"For how long?" Asa asked curiously.

"Why?" Kar smirked. "Do you want me to go to your graduation?"

"So you won’t," Asa shrugged. He didn’t care either way. Graduation was just graduation; he would rather Kar improve himself rather than be concerned about an event Asa himself didn’t care.

Kar chuckled at the nonchalant reply. "I’ll at least return before your college graduation."

"Now, we’re talking!" Asa grinned and bumped his fist with his twin.

"Uhh...that means you’ll be going long?" Nari frowned. "And like...no break?"

"I’ll be aiming for the top floor, Nari. Of course it’ll be long."

"You won’t...you won’t return for the new year? Or...or our birthday?" Byul asked quietly.

"...no," Kar replied with a wry smile. "Unfortunately, I don’t think I can. I’m sorry about that promise, Byul."

"Oh, no--that’s not what...that’s not..."

Byul stopped and lowered his head as his voice faded. Lucy glanced at her oldest brother, who turned away with a slight frown and confused expression. Haa...she sighed and patted the disheartened boy beside her.

She remembered a saying in one of the novels she read recently. First love seldom ran smooth.

Seemed like it was true.

Lucy wondered if her brother was truly oblivious to Byul’s crush--which was very apparent to her. But knowing Kar...that guy wouldn’t say anything if he decided not to. Even if he knew, the fact that he decided to go away meant he had no intention to welcome that feeling.

Oh, well...

Indeed, first love seldom ran smooth. ƒreeωebnovel.ƈom

"Hmph--" Lucy exhaled harshly before taking Byul away.

Whatever. She decided to distract the heartbroken boy’s mind by playing and reading books together, leaving Kar in the kitchen cleaning the blender.

"Are you running away?" Zein asked his son while taking a glass of water in the kitchen. "That’s your solution?"

Kar washed the blender and the glass in silent contemplation. That his father was there right after he was left alone told Kar that his father already guessed the subject of their previous conversation. He turned off the water and shrugged. "Wouldn’t feelings like that...dissolve naturally with time?"

"And you’re okay with that?"

"I’m doing this because I’m okay with that," Kar snatched the dish towel to wipe his glass, having no idea why he did it a bit harshly.

"Are you sure?" Zein tilted his head, wondering if Kar realized how sour his expression was at that moment. "What if the feeling doesn’t dissolve?"

Kar placed his glass on the counter and sighed. "I’ll think about it then."

"So you’re running away," Zein arched his brow.

"Oh, come on!"

"Well, you’re still young," Zein shrugged. "I guess a bit of misery won’t be a problem."

"What misery?"

Kar grumbled and walked away in annoyance while his father laughed at his retreating back. Bassena came from the sound of his husband’s laughter, and chuckling at Zein’s mischievous face. "Are you having fun?"

"I remembered the time when my brothers had a crush on the same girl," Zein said, smiling widely as he rolled the beads on his necklace. "At least, this is not the case."

Bassena glanced at the shadow of their disappearing son. "So, you’ll just let him be?"

"They are their own person, so let’s just watch while things unfold," Zein smiled fondly. In his eyes, it was just the innocence of youth, and it was endearing. "As long as it’s not going in Joon and Radia’s direction, let’s just watch."

"...you are having fun."

Zein laughed and shrugged. What was youth without the ups and downs of love? He and Bassena couldn’t have that because of their situation, but their children could afford a few confusions and heartbreaks along the way.

Even Han Shin and Reina had a few episodes of getting on and off with each other, and sometimes Zein thought about what might happen if he and Bassena had a normal childhood with complete sets of parents. Would they flirt with each other? Ignoring each other? Would they have fights and making up? Would they hide somewhere to kiss in secret so their parents wouldn’t know?

Sounds fun.

It wasn’t really fun as fall came and Kar was about to go, however. It was definitely not fun for the children. They were usually thrown a farewell party or something, but Lucy was sulking, so they just gathered for a normal lunch.

Kar had no idea why his sister was the one who got sulky, though. Was it because she reached puberty?

...was she about to get her first period?

No matter how much he tried to lessen his interaction with Byul, however, there was no way he could avoid the boy during this time. Wouldn’t it be too cruel?

"Hyung..." Byul steeled himself to approach Kar when the older boy was alone on the patio, staring at the sea.

"Hmm?"

The boy fiddled with the hem of his jacket, looking at Kar through dark lashes. "Are you...not going to ruffle my hair anymore?"

Kar had to hold back from letting out a sigh. He put on a smile and tilted his head. "I just thought you were too old for that already."

"No, I..." Byul paused, gripping his clothes.

He wanted to stomp his feet and threw a tantrum, asking Kar not to go. He wanted to cry and reminded the older boy of a promise to stay with him. But that...that would be selfish, right? As a non-awakened, Byul didn’t think he had the right. Still...still!

"Because...because you’re going to go away," the boy felt his throat was hot and filled with lumps. "I won’t...I won’t be able to see you for a long time, so..."

Lowering his head, Byul tried hard not to drop the tears welling in his eyes. He didn’t want to cry. He didn’t want to show Kar his pathetic side.

"Can you do it one last time...Hyung?" the boy asked weakly.

Kar closed his eyes and massaged his throbbing temple for a second, sighing heavily in his mind. "Of course I can."

He ruffled the boy’s hair, feeling bitter about the shaking hands and the scrunched-up face clearly holding back on tears. Before he could pull his hand, Byul rushed in and hugged him tightly, crying face buried in Kar’s chest.

Frowning deeply, Kar embraced the boy in return. It was just a hug, anyway. One last time.

Just one last time.