I Became the Drug-Addicted Childhood Friend-Chapter 85

"Shihu."

Han Shihu knew that the person sitting next to him on the swing wasn’t Seo Ah.

But he still wanted to speak.

To figure out what he was supposed to do next.

[Retry]

Was that the skill’s name all along?

Shihu wondered briefly, but the thought passed as quickly as it came.

It meant he could start over.

He could give up everything.

Thinking about everything he had done so far made his head hurt.

The option to give up seemed so tempting.

And yet, it was hard to make that choice.

He was certain there would be consequences, responsibilities he could no longer avoid.

He gripped his sword.

There were other weapons in his inventory, but his magic reserves were so low that even using a simple skill like inventory access was difficult.

He prepared to strike.

Prepared to end it himself.

"Ah, no. Don’t do it."

Of course, Seo Ah would say something like that.

But what did it matter?

He would restart anyway.

Everything would be new.

"...I’m going to start over."

"No, that’s not it."

Seo Ah got off the swing and grabbed his arm, pulling it back.

"I’m sorry. Next time, I’ll do better."

"There is no next time. Don’t run away."

She used to tell him to give up if he wanted to.

Now her words were different.

But it was just a hallucination.

"I’m sorry."

"No, don’t go. I’m sorry. If you disappear, I’ll be left all alone. No, that’s not the issue. The Doctor, the Doctor..."

"The Doctor?"

Did he have to hear about the Doctor here, too?

"The Doctor... is going to ■..."

"...What?"

"It’s about ■■■... and moving to another ■■ instead of reversing ■■."

"What are you talking about?"

The words didn’t make sense.

It was as if they were filtered, distorted in some inexplicable way.

"Don’t you get it? ■ goes ■■ and turns into ■■."

"...I can’t hear you."

"That’s... because there’s no time... You need to..."

Seo Ah wavered, as though she were dizzy, struggling to steady herself.

Shihu reached out, keeping her from falling.

He wasn’t even sure if she was a hallucination anymore.

And if she wasn’t, that was an entirely different problem.

"If ■ moves from here to ■■, it will ■■■ and ■■... So don’t go. If you go, I won’t meet ■■, and ■■ won’t use ■■."

"I don’t understand what you’re saying."

"......"

Seo Ah’s expression darkened.

"■■■■■■■■■■■?"

Now he couldn’t hear her at all.

"Can’t you hear me?"

"No..."

The resignation in her face was heartbreaking.

He wanted to comfort her, even if she was just an illusion.

There was a way.

A way to keep Seo Ah from making that expression.

He could [Retry].

He could set everything back to the way it was.

"...I get it. It’s impossible, isn’t it? The story can’t be changed."

Seo Ah muttered to herself.

"450 hours... 440... What does time even mean..."

Still incomprehensible.

Shihu couldn’t make sense of what was happening in front of him.

"Oh."

Seo Ah smiled as she spoke.

"Hey, how about we swing together?"

She pushed the swing Shihu was sitting on.

The rusty chains squeaked, the sound echoing in the quiet.

The sword in Shihu’s hand dragged along the ground.

"Haha... It’s fun, right?"

Shihu couldn’t bring himself to answer.

"It’s getting late."

"I’ll head back inside first."

"Hey, when you’ve made up your mind, come join me, okay?"

He wouldn’t make up his mind.

Instead, he would clear everything.

So he would [Retry].

Reset everything.

At some point, the only [Skill] Shihu had left was this one.

So there was only one choice left.

Just one.

***

I walked into the house.

This would be Shihu’s last memory of me.

And the last memory I’d have of Shihu.

The original story?

It wasn’t much.

Turns out, the Doctor was actually Han Shihu from another future.

A Shihu who had come back to the past to cover up his mistakes.

After defeating the Doctor, Shihu used the Purification skill on him.

The Doctor, regaining his clarity for a brief moment, explained his backstory.

Han Shihu had gone too far back in time.

Too far—back to when Seo Ah had just been born.

The Seo Ah he wanted to save didn’t even exist in that timeline.

Because of the excessive drugs, Shihu began losing his memories of Seo Ah, and even of himself.

All that remained was a compulsive obsession to cure the Awakened and reverse everything.

And slowly, he turned into a monster.

It was the kind of tragic backstory you’d expect from a villain.

But the Shihu here wasn’t just part of the story anymore—he was becoming that villain.

[111 hours 11 minutes]

"Heh."

I couldn’t stop him.

I wanted to write a message on the ground, something for Shihu to see, but my body wouldn’t move.

Something was restraining me.

A force compelling Shihu to become the Doctor.

Saving Seo Ah? That was never an option.

There was never a way to save either of us.

"...Hehe."

[74 hours 22 minutes]

No, I was still alive.

Maybe Shihu hadn’t given up everything yet.

He wouldn’t do something like that, right?

I didn’t want to see him do it.

I ran back to the house, hoping my last memory of him would at least be a good one.

"I hate this."

I hate this so much.

Don’t take away the last bit of hope I have left.

Please.

No.

No.

[46 hours 15 minutes]

Shihu wouldn’t die.

He wouldn’t give up everything.

If he did, maybe I should just go back to the lab myself.

Maybe that would be better.

Maybe I should run outside now, stop him from leaving.

He’s not already dead, is he?

But I couldn’t summon the courage to move.

If I waited, Shihu would come back, right?

Back into the house.

He was just at the playground. He’d come back.

This wasn’t some fake house—it was his real home this time.

"No. No. I’m scared."

[30 hours 7 minutes]

What was I afraid of? The time running out?

Or the fact that Shihu wasn’t here?

Maybe both.

I want to go back, too.

I want just one more chance.

Please.

"I’m sorry... Please... Save me... Help me... I was wrong... I’m begging you... I was wrong... Please forgive me... Just this once, help me... Please save me... I’m sorry..."

I didn’t even know who I was pleading to.

I just crouched in a corner, apologizing to the air.

My lips felt parched, burning.

[8 hours]

That should’ve been a lot of time.

Should’ve been.

[30 minutes]

There was no time left now.

I braced myself for the pain.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

I’d wait.

Even if it hurt, I’d endure. If I waited, maybe something would change.

[10 seconds]

The timer plummeted.

Brace for impact.

It would hit zero soon.

[0]

And then it went negative.

It should’ve hurt.

It should’ve been excruciating.

I waited for the pain to come.

But I felt nothing.

"...Huh."

It didn’t hurt.

Why?

I could stand, walk around.

Even think clearly.

I was... fine.

I thought of the necklace Shihu gave me.

It seemed to suppress magic.

Without magic, there was no pain. I could survive.

"...What?"

This was the Doctor’s doing.

Erasing all magic in the area.

So, in the end, it wasn’t much different from the necklace that suppressed my magic.

Oh.

So, just like this, I could live...

"Wait, what about Shihu?"

I hadn’t stopped him.

I hadn’t run out to him because I was afraid I’d collapse and make things worse.

I didn’t want him to leave with a bad impression of me.

But I shouldn’t have run away.

Or... had he not died?

I was still okay, so maybe...

There might still be hope.

I ran outside.

Toward the playground.

Barefoot, my feet scraped and bled on the gravel, but I didn’t care.

I ran.

The swing. He’d be on the swing, for sure.

"He was... there... right there..."

All that was left was the sword Shihu had held.

And blood, staining the swing and the blade.

The swing swayed gently in the wind, creaking softly.

No.

This couldn’t be.

This wasn’t happening.

"No, no, no. No, it’s not true. Shihu! Shihu?"

I shouted, but there was no reply.

I called out again and again, but it was the same.

"Wait. No, wait. This isn’t fair. It’s too much. No. If I’d stopped him at the house, if I’d held onto him, he wouldn’t have left."

He wouldn’t have died.

He wouldn’t have given up everything.

Maybe the first to give up wasn’t Shihu—it was me.

This was my fault.

I was the one who told him to give up.

This can’t be real.

This is absurd.

This isn’t right.

Don’t joke with me.

I clung to the sword Shihu had left behind.

The hilt was still warm to the touch.

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

It’s supposed to be a happy ending.

"Ah... Ah..."

It’s my fault.

It’s my fault.

It’s my fault.

No. It’s your fault.

Whoever you are, it’s your fault.

I didn’t do anything wrong.

So bring Shihu back.

Goddammit.

No...

This isn’t...

No...

"...This is a hallucination, right?"

A dream, or something like that?

It’s a nightmare.

Just another nightmare I’ve had from time to time.

The sword Shihu left behind—or rather, entrusted to me—remains.

He’ll come back for it someday, right?

Yeah.

Until then, I’ll keep it safe.

I’ll go back to the house.

It’s cold. Shihu might already be back home.

"He’ll come back."

So do I just wait again?

No, I can’t do that.

I’ll go to where Shihu might be.

The academy.

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Maybe he’ll be there.

I’ll walk there.

Like I did before.

When I went to borrow money for drugs.

I still haven’t paid that debt.

It’d be nice if someone came to collect it.

"Ah... Haha."

It must be this way.

It’s just six hours on foot, at most.

Don’t joke with me.

Shihu couldn’t have disappeared.