Reborn To Be The Imperial Consort [BL]-Chapter 46: Shrivelled Forget-me-not — III

Li Xinyuan’s breath hitched, fists clenching harder on his lap as he looked at Li Jinhua, dazed and unable to understand what was reality, what was a dream—better yet, a nightmare.

He stared at his auntie, confusion filling his features to the brim, even overwhelming all over his body as his mouth fell open.

Why was she sounding so befuddled? It was as if she was hearing Hu Lijing’s name for the first time!

Internally, the surgeon shook his head as a stray thought passed through his mind.

No, that can’t be.

It couldn’t be that Hu Lijing was just a figment of his imagination, right? What about the sixteen years he’d spent with the older male?

Were they just a speck of his imagination? Wait a freaking minute? What if this life—no, hold up... What if his last life was nothing but a daydream his brain has made up?

What if the system panel wasn’t a system panel but a mere hallucination to make him believe that his past life was indeed real and he has been reborn?

What if Hu Lijing was just a hallucination his schizophrenic mind had made up to serenade him once his genius became too much and the world too boring for him?

What if Li Xinyuan was actually not a good, ethical doctor he believed himself to be but an evil genius?

Li Xinyuan continued to spiral downward as the thick silence hung between him and Li Jinhua.

By the minute, his thoughts started teetering towards the bottomless edge.

As the tension grew, so did Li Xinyuan’s anxiety, speeding up his heartbeat.

"Excuse me..?" However, before he could conjure up an entire villain origin story or a tragic backstory, he caught himself and managed to sputter, fists trembling.

Li Jinhua gave him a strange look, a mixture of Li Xinyuan’s own confusion mirror with concern thrown in the fray.

Holy shit, what if—

"What do you mean ’Excuse me?’, Xinyuan." She asked finally, snapping him out of his daze. "Did Hu Lijing not tell you last night that he would be going somewhere? The place he came from."

Her words were followed by a stunned silence and a massively shocked look that Li Xinyuan gave her, mouth agape and elegant eyebrows furrowed, knitting together closely.

For a long moment, under Li Xinyuan’s expression, one of the longest moments of Li Jinhua’s life, her answer hung in the room, heavily. It rang aloud, deafening even.

"No," Li Xinyuan clicked his mouth shut, first relief washed over him, like a power tsunami crashing into him as he let out a sigh. "He did not."

Whew, so Li Xinyuan wasn’t schizophrenic after all!

He was indeed the genius neuro and cardiothoracic surgeon in his last life. Otherwise how else would he know so many correct things about surgery? Human anatomy? Modern science?

Then, the feeling of affront followed, hitting him like a two-ton brick crashing square on his face.

"He did not," Li Xinyuan repeated, teeth gritted as he frowned deeper. He couldn’t believe Hu Lijing had failed to tell him such an important thing!

Or maybe he just didn’t want to because Li Xinyuan didn’t deserve to know.

That thought had the surgeon stiffening for a brief moment before he swatted it away, confidently denying the possibility.

Hu Lijing wouldn’t not want to tell him something that important unless—

Li Xinyuan straightened up, solemnly meeting his auntie’s eyes once more.

—Unless he was well aware of the dangers his venture entailed and knew that Li Xinyuan would refuse to let him go alone.

And the only reason why Hu Lijing would insist on going alone would be because it could be very dangerous.

A dangerous light flashed in the surgeon’s eyes as he watched Li Jinhua with narrowed eyes.

"Auntie," he began, voice extremely low. "Didn’t Hu Lijing always tell me that it was a dangerous place, his home? So why did he go alone?"

Li Jinhua took a sip of her tea, clearly not giving his question much thought as she remained silent.

For the first time in his second life, the surgeon lost his cool towards his aunt. His heart twisted inside his chest as a knot formed in his stomach. Before he knew it, the surgeon raised a trembling fist and banged it on the table.

His abrupt action gave Li Jinhua a start, making the Divine Phoenix jolt as she snapped her head to look at him, expression cooling down upon seeing the former look at the dining table with his head bowed and raven fringes hiding away his expression behind their curtain.

The surgeon’s fist on the table trembled as he tried to reign in his anger and frustration that threatened to overwhelm his rationale.

"Auntie..." In a voice that quivered not from sadness nor pain but the anger hidden behind the layers of his threadbare composure, he spoke. "You know. You know that place— that place could very well be a hell for Hu Lijing—!" The surgeon raised his voice "—But not for a moment did you think to inform me, did you?" He asked, anger steering through the barricades.

Li Jinhua fell silent for a moment before she started to speak, while cautious, her overall tone suggested that she still couldn’t quite grasp the gravity of this situation.

"Xinyuan, Hu Lijing told me— he assured me that he would be back soon. He isn’t going to leave."

Her assurance didn’t nothing to abate Li Xinyuan’s growing fury as concern for his friend’s well-being curled in his guts, swirling along the fury within him as he snapped his head to look at Li Jinhua.

Then, in a deceptively calm voice, Li Xinyuan replied. "You don’t know anything." He chuckled, leaning back as he shook his head in disappointment. "You don’t know anything, auntie. I don’t blame you, of course, I just find this absurd." He paused, eyes cold golden eyes cutting to Li Jinhua. "You have not seen it."

Li Jinhua’s confusion grew. Her beautiful features contorted to reflect her emotions. "I do not know what? And I have not seen what?"

Li Xinyuan took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down as he prepared to stand up, hands planted on either knees as he inclined forward.

"You don’t know anything, auntie. You have not seen the haunted look in his eyes whenever he thinks that I’m not looking." His lips pressed together into a thin line. "You have not seen the familiar, the harrowing— harrowing— when he gets lost down the memory lane." He closed his eyes, standing tall as he looked down at the Divine Phoenix.

Li Jinhua’s eyes narrowed. "Harrowing what, Xinyuan?"

Li Xinyuan snorted through his nose and flicked his sleeve as he spun on his heels, striding towards the door with the grace of a prowling tiger.

When he reached the door, he turned his head to look at Li Jinhua over his shoulder, with his golden eyes half-lidded masking the anxiety of his heart, Li Xinyuan replied, his deep voice faint and barely above a whisper.

But it rang throughout the silent hall.

"Harrowing guilt that is eating him alive."