Transmigrating from a zombie world to become the mecha kings wife-Chapter 696: The talk___2

"Wait, hold on__," he said hastily.

"No," she refused flatly. "You have said that you want to talk so I am going to say every damn thing on my mind. I have given you weeks to talk about what was on your mind and you rejected me at every turn so don’t stop me from expressing myself. You will get your turn."

She turned her back to him and looked out at the white pyramids as she thought about her life from the day that she became Scarlet. Memories of their time together raced through her mind. Somewhere along the way, she and the original Scarlet had blended together so much to the extent that she couldn’t separate the obsession of the original body for Esong and her own emotions.

"Everybody thinks that I am loud and opinionated. Which is correct because I am never afraid to say exactly what is on my mind except when it comes to you. I avoid saying things that you would not like to hear, I don’t push when you don’t want to talk. I stuff most of my emotions down my throat and swallow them consistently because I am in the body of the woman that wronged you in the past and yet I am also the woman who has come to love you which keeps me consistently torn in two different directions." She raised her voice more and more, deepening it the further that she talked.

"Loving you has caused me pain just as it has caused me happiness Esong." She turned and faced him.

Her eyes welled up with tears that she had been holding inside accompanied by fury which made her want to fling him off the pyramid just once so that she could feel better maybe.

"Loving you has made me lonely, Esong, more lonely than I have ever been in my life. Physically and emotionally, you have made me feel lonely and bereft often, especially in the last few weeks and I am exhausted."

She unclenched her hands and took a deep breath. Saying this was like releasing a big burden that she had been carrying on her back for so long.

"Severus told me to give you time, which is why I left with the children. I wanted you to have time to think so that you could find yourself and decided what you wanted." She looked down and shook her head. "But, I don’t want to do that, not to our children most of all. I will not have you walking in and out of their lives as you please while I pine for you and ignore them. Justin was emotionally hurt by such careless behavior from both of us in the past. I will not let our daughters experience the same thing.

The same goes for me because i will not allow myself to be handcuffed to loneliness anymore. I am going to start choosing myself Esong."

She took another deep breath and sighed, then rubbed away the tears which had fallen against her desperate wish.

"Is there a more embarrassing Kopuko than me in the universe?" She muttered.

He suddenly grabbed her right shoulder and tipped her chin upwards, forcing her to look up at him. Esong was filled with abundant fear and more anxiety than he had felt before in the past months.

He was afraid because she sounded like she was about to give up on him. Her last speech sounded like words that one would use in a break up. The word divorce crossed his mind and agitated him greatly.

Was she really letting go of him? How could she even think that he had not thought about her?

"Of course I have thought about you. How can I not think about you? I love you, Scarlet. Me and Nyx, as one both of us love you so much. You are the best thing to ever happen to me. The single realization I have come to in the last few months is that I am so grateful that you died on your old world and found your way into this body so that we could be together." He spoke with resolution, and desperation.

She turned her head away without a word, looking away from him. Declaring his love for her right now would not solve their problem. It did not mean that his blowing hot and cold behavior would be buried. If she had to go through another wave of loneliness, it just might break her. What if she switched off her emotions because of him. What would happen to the children then?

"I am sorry." he moved with the wind and placed himself in front of her.

There was despair in his voice which tugged at her heart but she bit her bottom lip, clenched her hands and shook her head. She would not melt so easily like butter under the hot sun.

Even Esong could see now that a simple apology was no longer going to cut it. Her anger which had been silent as a direct result of his actions had multiplied over time. The longer he took to open up, the more she came a decision that could separate them.

He had a feeling that if he didn’t expose himself completely, he would actually lose her.

"Send me home." Scarlet told him in a cold voice.

Esong grabbed her hands and shook his heads desperately. There would be no going home until he too got a chance to say what was on his mind.

"I was angry." he blurted out.

That one truthful statement got her to look up and encouraged him to continue on.

"How could I not be angry when I discovered that something had been taking advantage of my body? How could i not be furious when i discovered that the invader inside of me had been taking advantage of us?" Esong huffed and clawed at the air with his hands to express his anger. It was not like he and Nyx could have a physical battle, especially now that they were one.

He could hear Nyx grumbling unhappily and claiming that Esong was using him as a scapegoat but he ignored the reaper. His mind filled up with memories of Scarlet and Nyx that didn’t involve him.

All of the things he had missed, the smiles and the tender love and affection which she lavished on him while he was stupidly unaware. It was almost as if she had been unfaithful to him.

He frowned. "He dated you, kissed you, made you laugh, was intimate...."

The more he talked about it, the angrier he found himself becoming and he let in all of the emotions that he had been holding back for months. He had been holding back because the war had to come first, their safety, the safety of the children.

Nyx had to repay the favors he owed and he had no choice in the clean up activities after the wat because it was his responsibility and mess to clean up.

But now that most of it was completed, it was time to fix their home. fгeewёbnoѵel.cσm

He looked up to the sky and roared like a hound.